Creating the Right Mindset for Divorce
Going through a divorce can be difficult. Getting in the right mindset can help you get through it.
Deciding to get a divorce isn’t an easy choice to make. Divorce can be scary. It is a life changing decision. Knowing what you want out of your divorce can help you put things into perspective and validate your reasons for wanting a divorce. It can also help you to get into the right mindset for your divorce. The divorce process is hardly ever easy but having the right divorce attorney advocating for you can help immensely. Remember, going through a divorce is only temporary.
Have Reasonable Expectations
After you understand what you want out of a divorce it’s normal to begin setting expectations. Make sure your expectations are realistic. It is okay to know what you want and to fight for but also know what you’re willing to compromise. More often than not you don’t get every single thing you want, but hiring a highly skilled attorney can help you get more of what you want out of your divorce. Try not to go into the mindset that you will “win” or “beat” your spouse in the divorce process. There’s rarely a winner when it comes to divorce and it’s rare that each party will get exactly what they want.
It’s Okay to Grieve, But Don’t Hold Onto the Past
Grieving is a completely normal part of the divorce process. It’s normal to be sad that the life you’ve known is coming to end. Now that you have made the decision to separate from your spouse, don’t live in the past. It can be helpful to talk to friends and family but try your best not to reminisce about the good times or obsess over the bad times. It won’t get you anywhere. Divorce support groups can also be a great resource and outlet for many people going through a divorce. Try to think about what is best for you in this moment and what is best for you in the future. This is the perfect time to embrace new opportunities and look forward to all the new experiences that await you.
Know Your Divorce Options
In Colorado you have several different types of divorce options to choose from. You can also decide to be legally separated if you are not ready for a divorce yet. Understanding what your options are will help you determine which type of divorce is best for you based on the situation you are in. Here are the different divorce options you can choose from:
Uncontested Divorce: A great option for spouses who are an agreement on how they want to divide their assets, debts, and arrange custody if applicable.
Contested/Litigated Divorce: When you have high conflict with your spouse and can’t come to an agreement on how to divide the things you shared in your life through mediation, this option might be for you. Although your divorce may begin as litigated the majority of litigated divorce cases end in a settlement.
Mediated Divorce: One attorney will act as a neutral third party and handle your divorce case. Their job is to help you and your spouse work towards a resolution that will be in both of your best interests.
Collaborative Divorce: This is a specialized divorce process where both parties and their attorneys have control of the process. When entering into this type of divorce option you are agreeing to avoid litigation entirely.
Legal Separation: This isn’t technically a divorce option, but it can achieve all of the same things as a divorce can, except being legally divorced.
If You Have Children Remember Your Ex-Partner Will Still Be Part of Your Life
Having children makes any divorce more complicated and it is likely you will still be dealing with your ex even after your divorce has been finalized. Although there may be tension between you and your ex, avoid expressing those feelings around your children. Don’t feel like you need to keep your feelings to yourself, there are always friends and family, counselors, and a variety of different support groups for you to choose from. Although your children will experience the divorce, they are not divorcing you or your spouse. Meeting in the middle when it comes to your kids will benefit all of you long term.
Keep Open Lines of Communication
Regardless of you having children or not, keeping an open line of communication with your ex can help streamline the divorce process and take some stress off. Being aligned with your spouse on what you want out the divorce can be very beneficial to both of you and prevent any surprises. Being open in your communications can also help keep you out of court, help speed up the divorce process, and reduce cost.